This event scores 0 on constitutional damage (no institutional harm from holiday phone calls) but 42.68 on distraction/hype. Layer 1 scores high on media_friendliness (5 - quirky holiday story with Trump), meme_ability (4 - 'bad Santa' is highly shareable), outrage_bait (3 - mixing politics with children's calls), and novelty (2 - unusual but not unprecedented). Layer 2 shows strong mismatch (4 - ceremonial tradition used for political messaging), perfect timing (5 - Christmas Day news cycle), moderate narrative_pivot (2 - coal defense ties to energy policy), and pattern_match (3 - fits Trump's unconventional communication style). Intentionality at 8/15 (53% weight) reflects deliberate political messaging in ceremonial context. Nine articles with identical headlines indicate coordinated media amplification of a quirky but constitutionally insignificant event. Clear List B: high hype, zero constitutional damage.